How to Spot a Midwife by Her...

1. Hand washing: religious

For the full twenty seconds. She may even sing 'Twinkle twinkle little star' to make sure it is twenty seconds. Watered down soap drives her crazy. Lack of cleanliness is the main reason Doctors had 5x the number of maternal deaths than midwives in the 1840s. She knew it before Ignaz Semmelweis.

2. Dinner conversation: all things birth

If there is anyone slightly willing to talk listen to talk about pregnant mommies she will talk about it. She lives and breathes midwifery. In fact, she may even eat it.

placenta cake

3. Texts received: on every subject

Every subject including discharge from every part of the body with detailed descriptions. This is not a text from an actual patient but it is very similar to many actual texts I have received. Minus the shorthand in a language I barely know.

4. Nail polish: none

Chipped nail polish is the perfect place to grow unfriendly bacteria which cause infection in patients.

5. Nails clipped: short

Ditto on the infection. Long nails are also bad for certain other midwife things. If one has to do CPR on a baby fingernails can cut the baby's skin. If a placenta needs to be manually removed long nails can tear up the placenta or even uterine wall muscles. Even taking a pulse or palpating a baby with long nails is simply mean to the mother's poor skin.

6. Sleeping habits: none

'nough said.

Snippets From My Day

5:00am moonlight

My day started last night because I have absolutely no internal clock. This midwife thing has shredded it completely to pieces. I worked on school all night (besides a couple youtube breaks) and snippet one is when I noticed the full moon outside the kitchen window just before going to bed.

One of the perks of being nocturnal

Snippet two shook my world. Literally. I was almost asleep when my room mate on the bunkbed above me started moving an awful lot. Then I remembered that my room mate had gone on a trip into the mountains and wasn't even in the bunk bed. It was an earthquake. I haven't felt one in a while. I looked it up later and it was 5.8 magnitude. Enough to swing the bathroom door a little and make me wonder if I should get dressed in case it got stronger. But it didn't.

So long as earthquakes stay small I think they are kind of cool. It's not like I would ever feel one in West Virginia. 

Snippet three was quite horrifying. I got up with my alarm and got dressed at 9am for my patient's scheduled prenatal. Then I laid down to sleep a little longer until the clinic texted me to say she was there. But I didn't wake up when they texted! I felt so bad. She must have sat there about a half hour before they texted again and I woke up. That's the second time that happened to me this week so when I got back home afterwards I searched all the settings on my phone to make the ring longer and louder and more than once. Hopefully it doesn't happen again.

Snippet four is something that has never happened to me before. I woke up again about 4pm and started making a list of things we needed from the market so I could go before it got dark. One of the girls from the other dorms who happens to be British was in the kitchen. She and my housemate were planning on watching a movie. We were just talking some and she walked over and gave me a hug out of the blue. Then she pulled my ear and said, "You're a good egg." I've never been called a good egg before. I guess maybe because I've never had British friends before.

Snippet five is actually something that happens quite often but has never lost it's entertainment. The jumping, screaming, squealing dance girls do when they see a cockroach. Yes, we have a lot of cockroaches. And we have a lot of girls. I was putting things away from the market run when the squeals first erupted from our visitor in the bathroom. Despite being a 'good egg,' I couldn't help laughing and laughing at the thought of the poor girl stuck on the toilet with the cockroach flying around. She didn't take her endearment back so I assume she forgave me for laughing.

I have started a photo album of cockroaches. My friends think I'm crazy but
I think they need to be documented as part of the Philippines experience.

The last snippet is right now. I'm eating peanuts and blogging on night shift. No labors yet and the postpartum patients are sleeping. Going to get back to school work as soon as I'm done writing this post. Like my outfit?

These scrubs are not the most comfortable or best fitting but they do have the MMC logo on them which is kind of cool. The lip shimmer is from my sis from so long ago she probably doesn't even remember and can I just say, I love pink camo!   :)